blah blah blah

March 31, 2005

sorry i haven't been updating much lately. there isn't much to report. let's see...

at the moment i am spending most of my time doing three things:

playing world of warcraft

work is going okay. studying is going okay. world of warcraft is totally fantastic!
mattgreen and i have not been doing a lot of sleeping lately. i haven't got to bed before 1am for several nights.

i am playing a rogue, called cyanus. i can go into stealth mode and sneak about, picking monsters' pockets and then garotting them. i use two daggers to fight with, one in each hand, and i can vanish in the middle of combat if things get hairy. i have a long red cape and a mask. i will try to post a screenshot later.

mattgreen is playing a warlock called fraxinus. he has a shambling blue minion called "jhzzzzrt" who is always getting him into trouble. mattgreen sets monsters on fire during combat and blasts them with shadow bolts from his wand. he can make special stones that resurrect other people if they die. we are going to do a quest soon which will get him a new minion called a succubus.

it really is a totally excellent game. i hate to say it, but its a lot better than asheron's call. they have fixed all the annoying things and kept all the good stuff.

good friday

March 27, 2005

on friday night we went bowling with lee-anne and sukesh. none of us are very good at bowling so it was all pretty relaxed and more about lager than high scores.

after the first game, which i won with a score of 109 including a strike and two spares, i said to mattgreen, "hey, it was worth going out with [alicey's ex-boyfriend who was good at bowling] for something!" i then tried to offer him some handy tips about how to improve his score of 65 or so.

halfway through the next game, mattgreen's technique had improved significantly, and he was easily beating the rest of us.

alicey: hey mattgreen, are you using my tips?
mattgreen: no, i have developed a new technique which is working rather well, i feel.
alicey: oh really? what's that then?
mattgreen: i visualise the face of [alicey's ex-boyfriend who was good at bowling] in front of the skittles and hurl the bowling ball at it as hard as i can.

mattgreen won the second game. heh.

at the dinner table

March 23, 2005

(mattgreen takes a mouthful of curry)

mattgreen: blimey! that's hotter than a volcanic vent!
alicey: mmm. did you know, a volcanic magma chamber is considerably hotter than a volcanic vent?
mattgreen: i'll remember that next time.

what's more important?

March 22, 2005

phil and i have gone to a cafe for breakfast (i think it was called the adventure cafe). we ordered a coffee, a tea, a bacon sandwich and a bagel then sat down.

phil: this place is famous in bath for employing really attractive waitresses, but they are useless so the service is always really bad.
alicey: (laughing) oh right.
(literally 30 seconds later)
waitress: (comes up to table) you ordered a tea yeah, and uh...?
phil: a coffee.
waitress: oh yeah, right. (skips off)
alicey: (laughing)
(ten minutes later)
waitress: (puts down plate in front of phil) there you are! errr... did you want something else as well?
phil: yes, we ordered a bagel.
waitress: oh yeah. okay, that'll be along in a minute!
phil: (peers at plate) that's quite a bacon sandwich. (plate has a ciabatta on it, halved and covered in melted cheese with meat and vegetables underneath it)
alicey: (peering at plate) i can't even see the bacon! looks nice though.
(five minutes later. phil hasn't started because he's politely waiting for mine to arrive)
waitress: uhhh, excuse me, did you order a bacon sandwich?
phil: yes.
waitress: oh, sorry, that isn't yours. (whips plate away) er, yours will be here in a minute. (skips off)
(alicey watches her carry the plate over to another table, apologise, then present this person with their sandwich. niiiice)

eventually our food did come, and it was nice, but christ! i don't think i've ever been to a restaurant where the staff were more inept. have to admit though, the waitress was quite a fox. rrrrrr!

pros and cons

March 16, 2005

i've been doing my new job for three months now. it's not what i expected. there's a lot of maths. some days i literally sit in front of excel for seven hours.

but, what i'm doing is important and it is keeping my husband's company in business. it is also a billion times more convenient and it's not stressful at all. i am learning some things about accountancy and bookkeeping that may be useful. i can also listen to my ipod at work and nobody cares, and i can tell you there's nothing like belting out dr dre to help you get through those spreadsheets.

to summarise: i'm still glad i left the ou. that place was killing me.

the #1 thing that homebuyers are interested in is....

March 14, 2005

(isabel and i are peering through the window of the estate agent in town)

alicey: which house do you like, izzy?
isabel: (pointing) i think i like this one.
alicey: (looking at the one she's chosen, it looks pretty minging) why do you like it?
isabel: (thoughtfully) it's got a nice washing machine.

filthy cellar

(alicey is in the kitchen. the cellar door is open, and mattgreen is down in the cellar getting something)

mattgreen: (calling up the stairs) you know all those bottles of water you insisted on buying and storing in the cellar in case of an apocalypse?
alicey: yeah
mattgreen: their labels are all going mouldy and disgusting down here. you'd never drink them now.
alicey: i would if it was an emergency. if we all had to live in the cellar because there really had been an apocalypse, you'd be GRATEFUL for my bottles of water!
mattgreen: ahhh, you wouldn't have time to drink water, because we'd be too busy... repopulating the planet!
(mattgreen's head appears, grinning from ear to ear)
alicey: i can assure you that there won't be any repopulating going on in that filthy slug-ridden cellar.

book club

March 09, 2005

one fantastic and unknown side-effect of having children is that nurseries, preschools and schools all have a book club magazine. not shitty book clubs, like those on the back of newspaper magazines, where you have to buy twelve books every year, but a really good one called "school link".

you can just buy one book and never buy any ever again. they have loads of books you might want to buy - everything from books for your child, to cookery books, to fiction. postage is free, and the books are delivered to the nursery so you don't even have to hulk them from the post office. fantastic.

the latest magazine came yesterday. it has so many books that i want that i am having to restrict myself to just eight. i chose seven and then i had to chose between this:

or this:

alicey: mattgreen, which one of these books do you think i should get?
mattgreen: blatantly the jordan one.
alicey: why? i think this one about the woman who had to fight for her right to justice looks very interesting.
mattgreen: [REPLY CENSORED]
alicey: (laughs)
mattgreen: now, if there was an umlaut over the "o" and it had an extra "l", then i might be interested.
alicey: (thinking, trying to work out which word it now spells)
mattgreen: (slight pause) now that's my kind of book: stöllen innocence.

p.s. for you cooks out there, the book club magazine also has nigella and jamie for £9.99 if you're interested. email me if you are.

almost as beautiful as when he.....

March 08, 2005

(mattgreen and i are walking down the street. i am talking about us driving to scotland)

alicey: it's not that far, it won't take us that long
mattgreen: (unenthusiastically) only about six hours.
alicey: and anyway, it'll be really really pretty up there!
mattgreen: (non-committal noises)
alicey: it'll be beautiful. (segues immediately into an australian accent) it'll be the most...
mattgreen: SHUT IT.
alicey: ... beautiful thing you've ever seen mate!

nobody will get this but it made me laugh so hard today that i have to post it.

evil alien babies take over the world

March 07, 2005

this is a link i think will particularly amuse mattgreen. via mimi smartypants

mothering sunday

March 06, 2005

today is mother's day. now that i'm a parent myself, i feel that i'm allowed to have an opinion on that.

my opinion is that it's a load of bollocks.

mothering sunday, whilst having a bit more of a genuine history than father's day, is just such a card-manufacturer's holiday. it's like an excuse to have a second birthday at your children's expense. it's like saying, "here's your pocket money: now spend it on me".

as with valentine's day, i really feel that you should show your love and appreciation for your parents all year round. last week i was at home with isabel and she said, completely unprovoked, "when i grow up, i want to be just like you mummy!" horrifying though that prospect is*, it was still such a natural expression of her affection for me that i was really touched. that means so much more to me than a card, bought by matt, written by matt, purported to be from her.

adults that buy presents for each other on mother's day and father's day and then try to pretend that the gift is from their baby make me want to hurl.

when isabel grows up, i'm going to tell her not to bother with mothering sunday. i'm not so insecure that i need to guilt trip her into being nice to me.

* i hope that she grows up to be so much better than me. i want her to be happier, more ambitious, make better use of her talents, be more confident, more approachable, more successful, more beautiful, more considerate, more patient. i do have some of those attributes, to a degree, but i want her to have it all. i fear for the day that she comes home with a broken heart and shuts herself in her room and cries for hours. i swear to god it'll hurt me more than it'll hurt her.

mmm, chocolate

March 02, 2005

the downside of studying "the earth and it's place in the universe" during my lunch break is that i can't stop thinking about galaxies.

more idiot science with alicey

March 01, 2005

i found out today that the sun is a star. i taught this to isabel, who ran round the kitchen shouting "the sun is a star! the sun is a star!" which was quite cute, and matt even commented, "your uncle simon would be proud". until ten minutes later when i asked her, "what's the sun?" and she said knowingly, "the sun is the moon".

anyway, the sun's a star, and stars have life cycles and eventually they die.

i told mattgreen about this and mentioned that i was slightly alarmed as this means the sun could die tomorrow, and then the earth would grow cold and the atmosphere would turn to liquid and then freeze and we'd all DIE A BLOODSTAINED DEATH.

mattgreen told me that the sun wasn't going to die tomorrow, and when i asked how he knew, he said because the internet said so.

so i typed into google, "what will happen when the sun dies?"

the answer, apparently, is that the earth will be Bar-B-Qued. only the internet could tell you that.

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