I'm no prude but...

February 27, 2011

I was at the gym today and I saw this video:


I've seen it before and it never fails to make my jaw drop.

"I don't even know you and I don't care [...] let's have sex"!

Direct and to the point I suppose. The video is a perv's paradise as well.

I wonder what her mum thinks. I know this makes me sound incredibly old, but how the hell do you ring your Mum and say, "I'm doing this song, it's called 'Let's have sex' and it's about me having it off with a complete stranger!" I can't imagine she'd want to sit down and watch the video with her granny and grandad either!

Stuff and things.

February 16, 2011

Sorry I haven't been posting that much. Now that 2010 is over and I no longer have to adhere to last year's new year's resolutions, I'm back to being insanely busy.

This afternoon, I need to prepare a presentation for work on Monday and take Izzy to swimming lessons and plan our menu for the week. Tonight I'm babysitting for a neighbour and going to the gym, tomorrow I am doing food shopping and cleaning and baking cakes and posting a parcel to my brother and his girlfriend who've just had a baby, and then it's parents evening, on Friday I'm doing a workshop at school and then we have visitors arriving, on Sunday the visitors go home and I go to the gym, on Monday a different visitor arrives and I am working full time for three days, and having a map-reading lesson at lunchtime, on Monday night I'm going to watch Mattgreen's new hobby, on Tuesday night I have 7 people coming round for a Cubs planning meeting which I need to prepare for and on Wednesday I'm doing an evening course after I get in from work.

Arrrggghhhh!

Woods

February 12, 2011

Today I went to the woods with Mattgreen, Isabel and Ludo.
As we were walking along, I was telling Matt and Izzy how you can buy a bit of woodland, and how I'd love to do that, and have an acre or two of wood at the bottom of our garden, and build a treehouse and a have a hammock hanging between the trees, and string up fairy lights and have bonfires and sing-songs in the winter, and champagne and canapes and go camping and maybe hold an outdoor concert in the summer.

I started singing and spinning around(to the tune of this):



"I want the woods... I want the WHOLE woods. I want to have trees and more trees and more trees, give it to me now, DON'T CARE HOW, I WANT IT NOW!"

Mattgreen turned to Isabel and said, resignedly, "Your mother is demanding large stretches of managed forest again".

Further words on the discipline of children

February 10, 2011

Recently at Cubs we had an aerobics lesson. It was great fun and (most of) the kids really enjoyed it.

At the end of the class we handed out some leaflets from the instructor advertising her kids classes. She'd done the session for nothing so it was the least we could do. Just as Cubs was coming to a close, I overheard a couple of the boys giggling and whispering. They were saying that one of the boys, let's call him Jimmy, had flushed his leaflet down the toilet. Jimmy is well-known to be a handful, so I turned to him and asked him straight if he'd done it.

He looked at me, laughing, and said, "Yeah!" in that 'what are you going to do about it?' tone of voice. Seconds later, the Cubs were dismissed and Jimmy made a bee-line for the door.

I strode after him and waited until he'd gone up to his Mum before starting a conversation with him.

Me: Jimmy, I'd just like to have a quick word with you about your behaviour.
Jimmy:(looking subdued, glancing furtively at his mum) Er, ok.
Me: You know that the aerobics instructor very kindly gave up her time for free for your benefit? And we expect all the Cubs to behave respectfully.
Jimmy: Yeah.
Me: (raising my voice slightly) Do you think tearing up your leaflet and flushing it down the toilet is respectful?
Jimmy: (laughing)
Jimmy's mum: Why are you laughing? It's not FUNNY. I'm not laughing. Say you're sorry!
Jimmy: Sorry.
Me: Thanks. See you next week.
Jimmy: OK.
Jimmy's mum: (leading him out of the door) Why do you do things like that? Just wait till I tell your father!

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