If it's good enough for the beetles, it's good enough for Mattgreen.

May 27, 2010

During a conversation with Mattgreen about how to get more fibre in our diet.

Me: I suppose we could sprinkle bran onto our cereal... (morosely) ...it might be disgusting though.
Mattgreen: I can get some from work if you want to try.
Me: Er, NO? I want bran that's fit for HUMAN consumption thanks!
Mattgreen: It is fit for human consumption!
Me: (suspiciously) What do you use it for at work then?
Mattgreen: (shuffling his feet) Er, well... feeding the stored product insects.
Me: (victoriously) SEE!
Mattgreen: No, but it's still suitable for humans! We get it from a human supplier!
Me: (suspiciously) Oh yeah? What are they called then?
Mattgreen: (quietly) Farm Foods.

WTF is one of those anyway?

May 16, 2010

Mattgreen, reading the paper: Ooh look! The new Toyota Auris has got a hybrid synergy drive! Maybe we should get one of those for our next car?
Me: I've always wanted a hybrid synergy drive.
Mattgreen: Well, it was on your birthday list.


May 10, 2010

Mattgreen is on the train to London. He sends me the following text:

Quality conversation between 17yr olds on train. "Lads, tina just texted and she's gone up a cup size!" *high five*

Election Part III

May 02, 2010

A few days after my first post about the election, in which Mattgreen took the piss out of me for having received a campaign leaflet from the Tories, this came through the door:

mattgreen is a secret tory
Much shrieking, crying of "Ahahahahahaha!" and hysterical laughter ensued.
I may possibly (and oh-so-maturely) sung the words,
"Mattgreen and Cameron, sitting in a tree. K. I. S. S. I. N. G!"

One final piece of election hilarity:
This made me laugh my head off, what a classic photo, it's the wistful look on his face that does it for me I think! Bloody brilliant.

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