Saturday morning in the Team Green household
November 12, 2011
This morning was the first Saturday I've been able to have a lie-in for weeks. We're usually really busy so it's a huge luxury to not have anything planned.
At 8.15am, the dulcet sounds of next door's scaffolders clanking poles and banging around woke me up. I lay in bed.
Me: Mattgreen, can you hear that clanging?
Mattgreen: (grumpily) Yeah. What time is it?
Me: 8.17. A. M.
At 8.35am, next door but two across the road started jackhammering. REALLY INSANELY LOUD. I drag my ass out of bed and open the window. They are wearing ear defenders. Even the scaffolders are wincing slightly at the noise. I make various unrepeatable comments about our beloved neighbours one and all.
Me: I'm going to unfurl a banner outside our house, saying "I hate you and I hate you even more".
Mattgreen: No, it could just say "We would just like to inform you that there are no major building works planned at < our address >".
So, we all get up and I get breakfast ready. I put on "Boys Don't Cry" by the Cure at high volume to drown out the jackhammering with Killing An Arab. Isabel is playing Cake Doodle on my iPhone in her dressing gown. Mattgreen brings in a pain au chocolate for her and puts it on the table. She carries on playing.
Mattgreen: Your pain au chocolate is going to be a pain au tepid at this rate.
Izzy: Pain au tepig?
Mattgreen: TEPID, you doofus.
Izzy: (grinning) Tepig's a Pokemon.
Mattgreen wanders in from the kitchen carrying the coffee jug. He holds it up, flipping the lid open and shut like a mouth whilst saying in a Muppet-esque voice, "Would you like some more kwaffee?" I laugh. He goes to pour it and then as the coffee gushes into the mug, makes loud vomiting noises. Then he says in Muppet-coffee jug voice, "Sorry about that"!