Getting Sick

November 09, 2011

On the way to work this morning, I spent a happy ten minutes hoping I would get ill. To me, being ill involves getting a free day off, snuggling on the sofa with a hot water bottle, being waited on hand and foot by Mattgreen, watching crappy telly and having super-luxurious daytime naps, and not having to be arsed to cook dinner or go to the gym.

Being ill is like being on holiday, only better, because usually my holidays involve being really busy. I'm always really envious of people who get ill often. It always sounds really idyllic to me, and I'd happily trade "having a bit of a cold" or "feeling under the weather" for a lazy day on the sofa.

Of course, I almost never get ill, and when I do I am the world's worst patient. I forget completely what it's like, and have very little sympathy when anyone else is ill because I think, just pull yourself together and get on with it! I remember a few years ago (just checked: it was in 2007!) I had a cold and it was so bad I posted on a forum:

I am getting by on Lemsip alone, but may need to up my game as I feel like total shit. I'm still walking the dog, going to work and playing racquetball as I refuse to let it beat me, but I am feeling grimmer than a grim thing.

Everyone told me in no uncertain terms that I should stop doing all that stuff and just rest. I got better rapidly after that.

Oh, why can't I get sick now?! If anyone's got any good germs, come and breathe on me please.

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