Change of heart

September 14, 2011

I've just had to turn my computer back on so that I could pull my previous blog post, hopefully before many people saw it as it was a self-pitying rant of epic proportions.

I just needed to get a grip and put things into perspective. In the previous post I mentioned my "massive boring list of tedious chores". I glanced at this list earlier. It includes:
  • Pick up dry cleaning
  • Pay vet invoice
  • Clean fridge (that would be the huge American-style fridge)
  • Order Paralympics tickets
  • etc
For fuck's sake!
How middle-class am I, whining away about how we need to save money whilst at the same time noting down lists of how I really must pick up the dry cleaning. There are people out there who don't have anywhere to sleep tonight and I am moaning about the DRY BLOODY CLEANING. I despair of myself sometimes, I really do.

I need to be a bit less spoilt and a bit more compassionate.

*shakes head*

You need to be less harsh on yourself. Everyone has moments of self indulgence and its so easy to get carried away with the feeling. You have every right to vent your feelings, after all, isn't that what blogs are all about? You do so many selfless things, your extra duties at work, your work with the cubs and you are a very loyal friend as well as a dedicated mother to the DB and baking all those cakes for matt. You don't have to get stressed about being perfect. You're pretty impressive as you are
I didnt read it but if you were having a moment of thinking 'fuck me, whats the point?' I want you to know that you are not alone. I think it must be our ages but almost everyone I know is reaching a crisis-of-confidence-in-everything-they-have-been-doing-for-the-last-20-years stage.
Thanks guys. I'm trying (fairly unsuccessfully, it must be said) not to worry about it/let it get me down. All things will pass and all that.
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