Billy & Katie

April 30, 2011

Yesterday I was going to a Royal Wedding party. I asked Mattgreen to put the TV on but I couldn't stay to watch it as I had to get ready upstairs.

Mattgreen: You missed the streaker! Right the way down the Mall!
Me: No! You're joking!
Mattgreen: It's certainly a chilly morning...
Me: Ha, ha.

(two minutes passes)

Mattgreen: Oh, you wouldn't believe what's just happened!
Me: What, what!
Mattgreen: A fight's broken out in the car park! Is that one of the bride's cousins... ouch... that must be painful...
Me: Stop it!

Later that evening....

Me: Mattgreen! Please will you get me a glass of water!
Mattgreen: No, get it yourself.
Me: Mattgreeeeeeeeeeeeen! I neeeed you to get it. I bet Kate Middleton doesn't have to get her own glasses of water any more!
Mattgreen: She's got people for that.
Me: I want people! I deserve them! I'm a princess too dammit!
Mattgreen: (shouting after me as I head for the kitchen) Can you bring the wine while you're there?

Call that a wedding!? No drunken uncles fighting in the car park and a real lack of any bridesmaid hair-pulling cat fights.
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