My birthday (also known as Christmas in April) is next month. I have already got four celebratory occasions planned for it, and all of them involve eating and drinking.

Therefore I've decided to go on a diet. I don't really need to lose weight, but I figure if I lose some now, I will look fabulous for my birthday and afterwards I won't feel all fat and bloated because I will've just regained what I've lost.

Also, I've been feeling a bit miserable lately. I don't know why - it could just be random, it could be because it's winter and it's hard to be full of joy when it's pissing it down and you have to trek through mud with the dog at 6.30am, it could just be a passing phase. Anyway, I figured that it would be good to have a challenge, and hopefully it will cheer me up because this sort of detox makes me feel amazing. Well, right after the part where I feel like UTTER SHIT.

So, starting tomorrow, for the whole of the rest of March, I am giving up:

• Meat


• Wheat


• Cheese


• Chocolate, crisps, etc.


• Alcohol *horror*

Wish me luck. I'll post regularly on how I'm getting on, so I apologise in advance for navel-gazing/bursts of rage/boredom in the extreme...