How d'you like them apples?

November 06, 2009

I am an extremely fussy person when it comes to apples.

I was talking to my mate Lee-Anne the other day about toffee apples, and I happened to mention that I don't like them because the apples in them are always soft and disgusting.

In fact, I don't like most apples. I like crisp, tart apples. For many years the only apples I would eat were red delicious, and my basic rule was that I only ate apples that were red all over. How Snow White of me.

Anyway - this all changed a few years ago at the Good Food Show where I had the chance to try the most magnificent apple of them all. This apple was nicer than even Red Delicious. It was.... *drum roll* Jazz TM!

Lee-Anne is not impressed with my bourgeois taste in apples. She chastised me for buying apples that were flown halfway around the world. (Sadly I can't argue that - all Jazz come from New Zealand). She bollocked me for buying apples that are trademarked. (I then admitted that I also don't mind Pink Lady... it turns out they're trademarked as well)!

My protestations that Cox's are disgusting fell upon deaf ears.

Tonight I tried to do some research on the internet on trademarked apples, but as I should've probably guessed, there was an awful lot about trademarked Apples and not a lot about apples. Eventually I found a website about apple varieties. Only click on that link if you are (a) bored out of your brain (b) really, really interested in apples.

Interestingly the first link says that Jazz are made by crossing Braeburn (which are ok) with Royal Gala (which are utterly disgusting). How could something so delicious come from something so vile? Only the fruit genetic-engineers know.

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