Mattgreen has been busy filling in a questionnaire from our lovely garden designer. He emailed it to me today for my thoughts before he sent it off. My comments are in square brackets:

Do you have any pets which use the garden? (What?)

-One giant breed female mountain dog.

How are your relations with your neighbours?

-West side: good. East side: cool (the dog bit one of their kids).

[Well - not BIT exactly... she was just playing... no honestly, she's really friendly! She was probably just over-excited. Hey at least it didn't break the skin... now cheer up! Stop crying! Oh fuck!]

Is there anything else about those who live here and/or use the garden that you feel I should know about?

-There is a desire to own chickens.

Client Requirements

What do you currently use the garden for?

-storage/aesthetics/dog lavatory/child’s play area/drying washing

[Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice]

What do you wish to use the garden for? (e.g. entertaining, relaxing, children’s play area)

-All above and entertaining, relaxing and food production.

[Oh even better. Maybe hold off on the food production until we've resolved the dog lavatory situation, eh?]

Does anyone other than the household members use the garden? (who?)

-Neighbouring children can walk in at present.

[LOL! well... guess that explains a few things...]