As you may have guessed, because I have chronic OCD am a very organised person, I keep meticulous financial records. I write down every transaction in and out of my main bank account in a yellow surveyor's notebook, and I have done since 1996.

Here is a sample (very old!) page from my book:


The other night I was filling in my book when I realised that these books might be quite interesting to anyone studying history in the future. I'd love to see a similar book from a couple of hundred years ago. It would be fascinating to see what kinds of items people bought, and observe how prices increased over time. Even in the above photo, taken less than ten years ago, it only cost £20.59 to fill my car with petrol! Anyway, as per usual, I didn't say any of this out loud, and instead started the conversation like so:

Alicey: Mattgreen! When I die, please can you donate my yellow books to a museum!
Mattgreen: (sarcastically) I'll certainly donate them to some form of institution, dear.
Alicey: (seriously, in a slightly hurt tone) They would be really interesting for the next generation.
Mattgreen: (in pretend future person's voice) "Oooh, what have we here? (slowly) Stuff... that... people... bought?! Stop the virtual reality sex for a moment!!"
Alicey: *sigh*

Mattgreen has been busy filling in a questionnaire from our lovely garden designer. He emailed it to me today for my thoughts before he sent it off. My comments are in square brackets:

Do you have any pets which use the garden? (What?)

-One giant breed female mountain dog.

How are your relations with your neighbours?

-West side: good. East side: cool (the dog bit one of their kids).

[Well - not BIT exactly... she was just playing... no honestly, she's really friendly! She was probably just over-excited. Hey at least it didn't break the skin... now cheer up! Stop crying! Oh fuck!]

Is there anything else about those who live here and/or use the garden that you feel I should know about?

-There is a desire to own chickens.

Client Requirements

What do you currently use the garden for?

-storage/aesthetics/dog lavatory/child’s play area/drying washing

[Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice]

What do you wish to use the garden for? (e.g. entertaining, relaxing, children’s play area)

-All above and entertaining, relaxing and food production.

[Oh even better. Maybe hold off on the food production until we've resolved the dog lavatory situation, eh?]

Does anyone other than the household members use the garden? (who?)

-Neighbouring children can walk in at present.

[LOL! well... guess that explains a few things...]