Izzy: What does that say Mummy? (points to phonics card 'or' stuck on wall)
Me: What do you think it says?
Izzy: I don't know.
Me: Well, what does the word underneath it say? Fffff-or-kkkk
Izzy: Ffff-orrr-kkk. FORK!
Me: That's right. So what is the middle sound?
Izzy: Ffff-orrrr-kkk. Orrrrkkk.
Me: No.. just the middle sound.
Izzy: Orrrr.
Me: That's right.
Izzy: Like in 'door'!
Me: Yes!
Izzy: And... in 'floor'.
Me: Yes!
Izzy: And in 'law'.
Me: Errrrr... sort of. It's not the same. Unless you mean 'lore', as in arcane lore. But you're kind of right! Er.. some words are spelled different ways... er...

Fucking bloody stupid English language is pissing me right off lately. I found this the other day, which just about sums it up:

I take it you already know
of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you,
on hiccough, thorough, laugh and through.
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
to learn of less familiar traps?

Beware of heard, a dreadful word,
that looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead -- it's said like bed not bead --
and for goodness' sake don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt)

A moth is not the moth in mother,
nor both in bother, broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there,
nor dear and fear for bear and pear.
And then there's dose and rose and lose --
just look them up -- and goose and choose,
and cork and work and card and ward,
and font and front and word and sword,
and do and go and thwart and cart --
come, come I've hardly made a start.
A dreadful language? Man alive.
I'd mastered it when I was five.