back rub tokens

February 10, 2005

oberion is in england at the moment on business. he came to visit us the other day. we all had chinese food and i got into an argument with mattgreen about prawn crackers.

alicey: prawn crackers are OBVIOUSLY made of prawns! they taste like prawn, don't they?
(mattgreen and oberion both look at alicey incredulously)
mattgreen: NO.
alicey: they fucking do.
mattgreen: no they don't! they don't taste anything like prawns!
alicey: i'm telling you they do! why would they be called prawn crackers if they weren't MADE OF PRAWNS?!
mattgreen: (pointing finger) that's it, i'm going to have to call (pointing) bullshit on that.
alicey: right, that's it. to the internet!

(alicey rushes off upstairs. alicey returns gloating, two minutes later, clutching a printout)

alicey: a-ha!
mattgreen: oh no.
alicey: you called bullshit but it wasn't bullshit so i get a special prize!
mattgreen: (looking pained) oh no.
mattgreen: (sighs) what surface do you want rubbing?
alicey: (laughing) i want a backrub TOKEN.
mattgreen: (eyes wide, adamant) no way. you're never getting one of those ever again. no chance.
oberion: (mystefied) what's a backrub token?
alicey: basically mattgreen writes me a little token and when i want my back rubbed i give him the token and he does it. that's all. (alicey stares at mattgreen beseechingly)
mattgreen: that's so not true.
alicey: (laughing) ok, so it didn't quite happen like that last time. last time he gave me backrub tokens, i would say, "mattgreen, rub my back!" and he would. and so the next day at 11.55pm, i'd say, "mattgreen, rub my back," and he's say, "alice, it's midnight, i'm tired," and i'd say, "oh pleeeeease," and he'd say "ok". and the next day it'd be 3.30am and he'd've been at work for the last 20 hours and i'd say, "mattgreen, rub my back," and he's say, "no way" and i'd say, "AHA!!! TOKEN TIME!!!!!"

(this, in case you are wondering, IS an exaggeration. but not that much of one).

You two have a very complex and absolutely excellent relationship. :)

By the way, I still maintain that the 'prawn' crackers that we were eating at the time had VERY little prawn in them. In fact, I'd bet the recipe said, 'Simply wave a prawn over the cracker before baking.'

Alice, did you get your token?

Frank (Oberion)
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