and another thing

December 17, 2004

can i just say good and i hope she gets what's coming to her.

hmmm...not good. It does make you see both sides though. For enjoyment was unforgivable; but I think its really wrong to knock parents who leave their children so they can work. When my dad died my mum had to support 4 children all on her own. We had nothing; Daddy had not left a will and had no life insurance so the mortgage wasnt even covered. Mum had 2 jobs, and we were always left on our own; the oldest 14 and the youngest 2. We learned to do everything for ourselves, from housework to DIY to cooking, whilst she worked. We had to cope and actually it was fine; and I'm glad I was so independant at an early age. It did us good, taught us not to be selfish and I think we are more rounded people for it. We mollycoddle our children too much, and do them poor credit as a result.
I have to say, I don't agree with you on this one.
As a parent I think it's your responsibility to ensure that you're adequately prepared if something happens to one of you. One of the first things we did when I got pregnant was get life assurance and sort out a will.

I don't think you should ever leave young children alone. I wouldn't even pop next door and leave Isabel in the house on her own. If the house burns down and she died, whose fault would it be? How can anybody expect a 12-year-old to take responsibility for a six-year-old in those circumstances? What if one of them became dangerously ill, or accidentally pulled a pan of boiling water over themselves? What if it was the 12-year-old - could you really expect a six-year-old to handle it?

I agree that you shouldn't mollycoddle your children. But I don't think you should take risks with their safety either. I just think it's irresponsible.

I know your situation was difficult and there were extenuating circumstances; every parent makes their own choices about what they would do if things happened to them. I'm not saying what your mum did was wrong. I'm just saying that if I found myself in that position, I wouldn't react the same way.
I know what you mean, and the point you make about the older child being involved in an accident is a good one.

Sometimes though, it just isnt that black and white; whichever way you look at it, it's a terrible situation. I guess you'd have to choose the lesser of two evils - that wouldn't be an easy choice. In such situations, one cant just divide single parents in 2 camps; responsible parents who care about their children and dont work and irresponsible ones that don't care and do work.

It's an interesting question and one that has wider implications too - hard to say who would be right - the mother who worked so her children could benefit from the money she earned, or the mother who didnt and relied on others to help her out. Apart from the obvious social impact, what impact would that have on the child's development?

Also, it does beg the question; at what age do you consider a child old enough to be responsible for itself? Obviously not at 6 - but a child's age sometimes belies their maturity and ability...
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